I found out I have an STI.
I find slightly ironic, because I started sleeping with someone on the regular that has genital herpes. I really wasn’t concerned about getting herpes because I’m pretty well versed on STI’s…and then I find out I have chlamydia.
I’m 80% sure I know who it was.
I slipped a few weeks ago and slept with The Russian. He called me out of the blue and I had deleted his number because I don’t see the point of keeping numbers of individuals I no longer talk to…I now keep my contacts so Health Services can contact them.
“Hey…how’s it going.”
“Good…uh…I’m sorry, who is this?”
He has a Russian name, but tells people his English name, so he told me his English name and I totally blanked. He wanted to know if I wanted to hang out…
“We don’t hang out…we’re not friends.”
“Oh, well, uh, you should come over and get drunk.”
“I have plans, I’m off to the pub with some friends.”
A week later I drunk messaged him when my friends tapped out early from the bar. He dropped me off the next morning, as I exited he told me I should call him again. My response, “Yeah, that was weird.”
It sounded much less bitchy in my head.
I ended up running into him yesterday at the bar. I turned tail and avoided him but he came up to me on the dance floor and slurred how hot I looked, how he was trying to be respectful but I was too tempting.
I decided in that drunken state to ask him why he never went down on me. He looked a little surprised and replied, “But…you said you liked dick.”
“I do…but I can’t always get off that way. You never actually touch my vagina. What the hell man?”
“Oh…well, I’m actually really good at it…” *insert drunken ramblings*
I did not go home with him that night, nor did I mention I think he’s the one that gave me chlamydia. He can deal with that phone call today from Health Services.